Hadron Blues

So...WTF. I'm an avid fan of science. I science all the time. I'm even sciencing right now. WTF is up with the good for nothin' Hadron collider? I've been waiting patiently for years to find out if the dang Higgs Boson even exists?! What are these nerds doing? I've got a mind to write a very opinionated and passively aggressive letter to CERN. They need to get their asses in gear and stop lollygagging around in the Swiss Alps. They've probably been skiing this whole time. Who the frick is in charge? I bet my senior citizen doggie could do a better job.

While I'm over here waiting for them to get this show on the road, they've been sipping hot cocoa and eating chocolate fondue, just laughing at us. It's an evil mad scientist laugh too I bet. They say it will be up and running by the end of this month. But I've heard that line before. I have a feeling they're leading us on, just to dump us in a month or so. What a bunch of jerk quantum physicists. In the meantime, here's some videos to whet your quantum appetites:

Even leaders get crotchety

Imagine a cranky old guy. Now imagine being forced to listen to his cranky fussing inside the General Assembly at the UN. I don't know much about Libya, much less about their leader Moammar Gadhafi. One thing I do know is a curmudgeon when I see one.

Gadhafi recently gave a rambling speech to the UN. At one point he complained about the jet lag from having to travel so far to the meeting and apparently had jotted his hour and a half speech on crumpled pieces of paper. By the end of the speech half the audience had walked out. I wonder if other world leaders rolled their eyes when his back was turned. I bet they passed notes to each other saying "Bored, too long! Wanna bounce in 5?"

Don't get me wrong, I have a fondness for old, grumpy men. I'm seriously looking forward to being an angry, old bird. I'll tell all the children on my block to mind their manners. They better stay outta mah tomaters!

-Lolski

Whoa...who needs a studio when you have pens?

Okay, this video illustrates why Soulja Boy should never have gotten a record contract. WTF? This kid is amazing. And then you have ding dongs like Soulja Boy and Jim Jones with zero talent pushing out singles like no tommorrow. Okay let's do the comparison:

Soulja Boy                                           Kid in Video

- is annoying                                   - is not annoying

- has producers for all his              - Uses bare hands for his beat
shitty one-tone beats, they
still suck

- Groans incessantly in songs               - Uses intelligent lyrics in song

- Wants to "supasoak hoes"                 - Wants to "let the beat ride"


And there you have it. Ugh...someone give this kid some airtime. Speaking of someone with raw talent...check out my friend!

- Lolski

Okay... ummm... disturbing

What in tarnation were this kid's parent's thinking??? Since when do you give a 7 year old a pistol. Go ahead and paint me purple, but those bullets appear real. This is no potato gun folks. He seems to know how to load that thing like second nature, which implies alot of practice, which then implies WTF MOM and DAD? Did you get him started at 3? There's so many things wrong with this. You know what...I don't even need to go on a rant here. Common sense should be universal on this one. But alas, 'tis not. Two things can happen here...he grows up to be a law-abiding citizen and develops this childhood hobby for the good of all and becomes some type of peace officer. Or....ummm....yeah...you know the rest.

For the love of curly fries...guns and kids don't mix!

- Lolski

Slapping you with a big fat smelly armpit of frustration.

I can no longer await the day of over head thought bubbles. As Lolski and I sat out side our favorite Chapters book store, speaking very loudly our status updates. I could not help but wish that everyones thoughts were assembled over their heads for all to read. Maybe in neon, or a steady stream of text... possibly with a theme song that goes with their body shapes. For instance a portly port drinking and cheese eating man...who no doubt smells of cured meats and sweaty slacks...would say something like " Im hungry, and frustrated with my mother....can people see my boner?" and his theme song would be something like ramalama bang bang. With all of the advances in technology and brain science and space = what's the holdup? If any techmnology people read this...I will gladly be involved in the trials.

-Shocka

Attention ladies over 30...CNN wants you to know this

So I was perusing CNN's site and saw this headline Women over 30 have newer birth control options. Just turning 30 this year, I though 'meh, why not check this out'. So I'm reading over these so called "newer" options and I couldn't find any.

They list variations of birth control pills. Umm, okay not new. I still have to inject myself with hormones like cattle.

They list the IUD. Oh yay....that barbaric thing that's been around since the early 1900's. Sweet, can't wait to have a doctor shove that in the old uterus and leave it sit for 10 years.

Then they mention condoms. Weren't those suckers made out of sheep intestine in medieval times? Not new, sorry.

They mention Implanon, a little plastic stick implanted under the skin that shoots hormones daily. It's a variation of the Pill....not new, next.

Then they mention sterilization. Again, not new. Didn't Canada do forced sterilization in the dirty thirties?

And our last resort method of birth control. Plan B. This is just a suped up dose of the birth control pill. Yawn. Next.

How about some new ideas guys? Preferably something that doesn't involve sticking foreign objects in our bodies or increasing our risk of strokes and blood clots. Thanks.


-Lolski