WELCOME TO ROFLOPAGOS ISLAND: HUMOR CAPITAL OF THE INTERNETZ
THE LATEST IN FUNNY VIRAL VIDEOS, CURRENT EVENTS, SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY AND WEIRD NEWS
RUMMAGING THE INTERNET SINCE '69 (OKAY, MAYBE NOT THAT LONG)
Hello ladies, gents, unicorns, dryads, and all humanoid lifeforms of the Internets. Roflopagos Island is a place of whimsy and folly. It is a humor blog documenting the ridiculous, funny and odd things of our glorious Internets. Why rummage the Internet when I can do it for you?
What can you expect while you are here? It will be random, it will be unique, and if anything it might give you a hot, swift burst of humor to enhance your everyday life. Enjoy…
Ever wonder how you can stop a bully? Try falling on the ground and feebly kicking the air with your foot. This video will illustrate sure-fire ways to keep the bullies coming back for more. I love all of their far-fetched examples too. If you happen to have a magazine handy, why not just take the 5 seconds you need to roll it up and try and use it as a weapon? I'm sure the bully will wait his turn while you roll it. Holding your hand out and making a stop sign is also guaranteed to strike fear in the hearts of your predators. Who ignores stop signs? No one that's who.
Was there a rule in 1992 that all children should have waterfall bangs? Even the guys had them. It must be a leftover from the 80's. I had them, you had them, we all had them. It's nothing to be embarrassed about. The higher and crunchier the better. Combine it with a bowl cut and you got yourself a glass of sass.
Okay...umm....I don't remember seeing this one as a kid. But if I did, I would never speak to an adult again. Even now, as an adult myself, I would be a recluse. Oh no, then I would be the creepy stranger! This video has the potential to create a vicious, creepy adult cycle.
Where did they get these people? They are all incredibly creepy, even the women. These actors are good...almost too good. Did the director walk down a dark alley one night and hire anyone he met along the way? I see a whole lot of life imitating art going on.
Check out the "video director" stranger. Children need to avoid any man that has that hairstyle. That's not opinion, that's science. It's also best that children avoid women with bowl cuts that talk with their eyes closed. Also, don't fall into the "hero trap" kids...although professional photographers that look like "Woogie" from Something about Mary may appear heroic, it's just a ruse. I also didn't know that pizza delivery guys were considered "authority" to kids. I hope the child actor that was paired with the creepy dog killer is okay and not on too much Xanax as an adult.
Okay, this song's still not going away...But I'm kind of thankful that it's still pretty big amongst the baby/child population. This is pretty dang funny, even if I do want to punch Beyonce in the face for forcing her crotch moves on my poor, poor eyes yet again. Why are unitards all of a sudden overpopulating the universe? You know what, you can blame damn GaGa for that one. Everywhere I go, vagina grabbin' cameltoes. I'd like to see normal girls wearing unitard onesies out on a Friday night and see how well that works out. Stares and snickers would be had no matter what your size.
Remember the one-peice women's bathing suits in the 80's and early 90's where the legs went up so high creating an illusion of a super long crotch and torso and really long legs? Those were the best. Everyone looked like an 80's rocker video babe in those. I say we bring them back. Let's bring back the high waisted mom jeans too. They weren't mom jeans in the 80's let me tell ya! Everyone has a gunt in those. Ya I said it...gunt.
Aah lil kids are funny. They choose the most inopportune times to follow direction. Put them in some type of grocery store or bank line-up situation and they'll do the exact opposite. Check out this dad and his sweet-ass catch. Ouch. She was just doing what she saw...balls are for throwing, not holding quietly.
If you think you've seen kids with behavioural problems, this kid takes the cake. He goes downright ballistic on his mom in some office building. Wait for the end, it will bring true rofls. Somebody needs a time out...or a Ritalin.
Aah yes. The classic little-league coach fight. If this isn't a fun-filled jamboree of family entertainment, then I don't know what is. Wonder how this one started? Uh huh...here goes:
Coach 1: That was a foul and you know it!
Coach 2: Foul? Foul? What...like foul like your wife's face.
Coach 1: Jim, I told you to stop that shit.
Coach 2: What, you gonna do about it...we all know you can't swing worth shit?!
Coach 1: All right, that does it!
And then fight ensues. Mix testosterone with vicariously living dreams through your kids and you have a whole mess o' trouble. What would have made this video even better is if the wives stepped in and a catfight erupted on the sidelines.
Okay, little kids hurting themselves isn't funny. But my conscience is clear because he gets up and is no more worse for the wear. Do you think toddlers trip so much because of their head to body-size ratio? I've always wondered that. I once read about a study that compared babies of many different species. They were investigating "cuteness" of baby animals and humans and common features of baby creatures. A large head in comparison to the body was one of the indicators of cuteness. They concluded that we are programmed to want to care for things with these features.
I say phooey on that theory. This example will blow those scientists and their theory out the water:
Beetlejuice from the Howard Stern show is too dang adorable! I wanna pinch his lil cheeks!
You saw the toddler that caught a giant fish with her bare hands. Here's another amazing kid with insane skills. Vin Diesel's head is probably spinning like a giant, bald top. Paul Walker's ego is insanely bruised. Why? Because this kid has been asked to be his stunt double. I love the little adjustments he makes at the end. He clearly didn't understand his own awesomeness until the end of the video.
What in tarnation were this kid's parent's thinking??? Since when do you give a 7 year old a pistol. Go ahead and paint me purple, but those bullets appear real. This is no potato gun folks. He seems to know how to load that thing like second nature, which implies alot of practice, which then implies WTF MOM and DAD? Did you get him started at 3? There's so many things wrong with this. You know what...I don't even need to go on a rant here. Common sense should be universal on this one. But alas, 'tis not. Two things can happen here...he grows up to be a law-abiding citizen and develops this childhood hobby for the good of all and becomes some type of peace officer. Or....ummm....yeah...you know the rest.
For the love of curly fries...guns and kids don't mix!
This kid is incredible. Never mind Bear Grylls, that dude that stares into the camera and eats bugs. This kid can survive a month alone in the desert. This kid can stop a bullet with her bare hands. She is a reincarnation of Chuck Norris...wait he's not dead, nor will he ever die. He probably just provided his mutant DNA to her mother in hopes of passing on his legacy of awesome...
Okay this little girl has got some sick ass moves and she's incredibly cute. BUT....and this is a big BUT...what's with the giving her dollar bills? Am I the only one that's slightly disturbed by this? From the comments on youtube I'd say I'm not the only one. Maybe I don't understand boardwalk dancing rituals in Coney Island...
So I came across this lil guy's videos and he's the funniest. He's a 16 year old kid with progeria. It's that really rare disease where the kid's age super fast. Extremely sad yes. But this lil guy's got moxy! He's a foul-mouthed firecracker! He makes video's where he raps and dances and tells dirty jokes. He's got more confidence in one of his little knobby knees then most adults do altogether. Ofcourse there are d-bags that make fun on youtube, it IS the internet. But he seems to take it all in stride. I LOVE HIM!!
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