Cat Lady Crazy

Every once in a while I go coo coo crazy and spend hours on Youtube looking at cat videos. I have my favorites...ooh Nelly do I have my favorites. Last night was one of those nights. But wasn't it a Friday night you might ask? And then I would genteelly retort "Shut-up, you're dumb. I'm getting old and like me some couch time. I ain't no spring chicken. Going out once every third fortnight is enough for this old Bessie". Okay, I jest. I'm only 30 but I really can't stand bars any more. 'Cause then I have to dust off my dancin' shoes and shave my legs and we all know how much effort that takes.

Back to the kitties. Here's some of my favorites...









Speaking of kitties, my poor cat has developed something called Feline Psychogenic Alopecia, which means when translated "My cat has kitty OCD". She's over-grooming her bum, legs and stomach. It all started when my senior citizen family dog moved in with us. Now her bum and legs look like they were shaved. She's walking around with a homemade Brazilian wax everyday. If my cat was an outdoor cat, she'd be the hussy of the neighbourhood. All the tomcats would be going crazy over her and whispering amongst each other:

"Hey man, I hear the carpet doesn't match the drapes!"

"Dude I heard there IS no carpet!"

She's usually a really fluffy, puffy, long-haired kitty, but with a still fluffy torso and sparse legs and bum, she looked like she's wearing an over sized trench coat or a handsome and generous fur-lined Mu mu. Poor kitty. Now that she knows that her enemy at the gates is nothing more then a tired, old lady, doggie who is uninterested in her feline charms, it's now growing back a little.



See, I told you the guys go crazy for the generous, fur-trimmed manteau. What a trollop!

All the Single Babies

Okay, this song's still not going away...But I'm kind of thankful that it's still pretty big amongst the baby/child population. This is pretty dang funny, even if I do want to punch Beyonce in the face for forcing her crotch moves on my poor, poor eyes yet again. Why are unitards all of a sudden overpopulating the universe? You know what, you can blame damn GaGa for that one. Everywhere I go, vagina grabbin' cameltoes. I'd like to see normal girls wearing unitard onesies out on a Friday night and see how well that works out. Stares and snickers would be had no matter what your size.

Remember the one-peice women's bathing suits in the 80's and early 90's where the legs went up so high creating an illusion of a super long crotch and torso and really long legs? Those were the best. Everyone looked like an 80's rocker video babe in those. I say we bring them back. Let's bring back the high waisted mom jeans too. They weren't mom jeans in the 80's let me tell ya! Everyone has a gunt in those. Ya I said it...gunt.

- Lolski

I'm supposed to throw this right?

Aah lil kids are funny. They choose the most inopportune times to follow direction. Put them in some type of grocery store or bank line-up situation and they'll do the exact opposite. Check out this dad and his sweet-ass catch. Ouch. She was just doing what she saw...balls are for throwing, not holding quietly.

- Lolski

British Animals

Adding a British accent to anything makes it seem both sophisticated and funny. I wish I had a British accent inner monologue. My thoughts would be so entertaining. I don't know if I'd prefer a man British voice or a lady. They are equally appealing I guess. As long as it said "quite" and "dodgy" a lot, I'd be happy. The only British voice I find annoying is dang Keira Knightley. Wait maybe it's not her voice and just her face. If she pouts one more time in a movie and gives that dumb, looking off in the distance, trying to be sultry look one more time, I'm gonna lose my shit. No joke, Keira. Enough. You make every movie you are in unenjoyable to watch simply because of this pout. Don't get me started on those Pirates of the Carribean movies.

Here is a series of videos from a British TV series "Walk on the Wild Side". I was rofling so hard I think I might have peed a little during the Allan/Steve one. I bet my cat would sound a lot like Emma Watson, the one that plays Hermione Granger in the Harry Potter movies, if she were British.

- Lolski

Thanks ladies...way to ruin their chances

Another fail video is in order. These guys over at FailBlog sure know to keep human failure fun and upbeat. These two ladies obliterated these dog's chances of getting adopted. What if these doggies had a Daddy Warbucks coming their way? Now they'll never find parents. They'll be singing "Tomorrow...Tomorrow" forever in some dingy little shelter cage. I bet they'll be too sad to do a choreographed dance. Thanks a lot ladies, couldn't fake it even a little on camera?

- Lolski

Must... not... laugh...

Okay, little kids hurting themselves isn't funny. But my conscience is clear because he gets up and is no more worse for the wear. Do you think toddlers trip so much because of their head to body-size ratio? I've always wondered that. I once read about a study that compared babies of many different species. They were investigating "cuteness" of baby animals and humans and common features of baby creatures. A large head in comparison to the body was one of the indicators of cuteness. They concluded that we are programmed to want to care for things with these features.

I say phooey on that theory. This example will blow those scientists and their theory out the water:



Beetlejuice from the Howard Stern show is too dang adorable! I wanna pinch his lil cheeks!

- Lolski

Puppy Vs. Velociraptor

Who will win? So this is part two in the saga of my parents neurotic dog. Here is Dude (Yes his name is Dude)in an epic battle against the forces of evil. Well maybe not evil. More like a $50 remote controlled velociraptor from Target. Legend has it that salads are also malevolent entities and must be stopped.

- Lolski

Melancholy Kitty

Awww poor kitty! Bath time is sad time. I almost rofled my pants when I saw this. The music and lighting paired with the silent meows of a very morose but clean kitty cat makes this haunting docu-drama a must see (I sure gave Roeper a run for his money with that review!). This makes for a very Oscar-worthy viral cat video. Don't worry, despite the many shades of melancholic gloom, there is a happy and dry ending for this pitiful puss...

So cute you'll barf

You'd have to be the most grumpy, jerk-faced curmudgeon to not find this cute. Go ahead I dare you to watch this and try not to succumb. Speaking of curmudgeons, I can't wait to grow up and be one. I'm looking forward to yelling at people that graze my property line or poking people with my umbrella while I shuffle by. I've hit my 30's now so just 30 or so more years until it's a grouchy free-for all.

- Lolski

Amusing Evian ad

I came across this the other day. I was trying not to smile as I watched it because I usually don't like crap like this (CGI dancing babies etc.) but in the end my belligerent face cracked a smile despite my best efforts. My reluctant verdict is in: Evian has harnessed the power of the viral video. Maybe I will buy their overpriced glorious spring (cough...Quebec tap water) water after all? Pffffttt...nope.

-Lolski

Worst/best rap battle ever?

So this is one of my old favs and if you haven't seen Eli yet then...uh...basically you need to. This is known as the worst rap battle ever. But I say pshaw to that! How about best rap battle ever. I wish I could put Eli in my pocket and take him wherever I go! The heart swipe is also probably the best camera effect known to man. Wait for Eli...he's after the first dude.

-Lolski

Really cute...yet slightly disturbing

Okay this little girl has got some sick ass moves and she's incredibly cute. BUT....and this is a big BUT...what's with the giving her dollar bills? Am I the only one that's slightly disturbed by this? From the comments on youtube I'd say I'm not the only one. Maybe I don't understand boardwalk dancing rituals in Coney Island...

-Lolski

I love this lil wippersnipper!

So I came across this lil guy's videos and he's the funniest. He's a 16 year old kid with progeria. It's that really rare disease where the kid's age super fast. Extremely sad yes. But this lil guy's got moxy! He's a foul-mouthed firecracker! He makes video's where he raps and dances and tells dirty jokes. He's got more confidence in one of his little knobby knees then most adults do altogether. Ofcourse there are d-bags that make fun on youtube, it IS the internet. But he seems to take it all in stride. I LOVE HIM!!

-Lolski