Amateur pole dancers never prosper

Well this is downright embarrassing for everyone involved. But mostly for the drunk girl that ruined everything. You were in a world of your own drunk lady. You were under the impression that your spastic twirls and awkward sashays were indescribably sexy. I know what you were thinking... "The boys are gonna love this finishing move...okay...here goes". And...down comes the roof.

Drunk lady, you will forever be known in this group of friends as the idiot that crushes dreams and ruins lives. Ladies reading this need to keep this factoid close to your heart: drunk dancing is neither attractive or alluring. I understand that the music is loud and the lights in the bars create the illusion of romance and adventure, but the sexy faces you are making while grinding your friend instead make you look like you are on the verge of vomiting down the front of your white halter top. Oh and plus, you're probably sweaty and your make-up's running by that point. Sultry dance is best left for moments when you're not 6 martinis deep.

And boys, don't encourage us to get on the riser, speaker or table when we are in this state. Bad thing's happen. Cases in point #1 and #2. Are you going to comfort us when we've been tagged in a Facebook photo that shows us "getting low" at unflattering angles? I think not. So quit it. We may have vaginas and boobies but not all of them are moneymakers.

Don't test Mother Nature

She's a cruel calculating bitch. She's Queen of the Harpies. If you mock her, she will show you what's what before you can say Jack Spratt's Hat. Dancing in the rain is best left for hippies and musical numbers anyways. If you must do it, perhaps you could stay away from metal. If that is not at all possible, then put on a shirt at the very least.

Love how the girl filming was like "Okay everyone in the house now". Yes it is now time to shut this whole filming in a lightning storm operation down. Perhaps she could have told him to seek shelter under a large tree or a telephone pole? This is the type of flawless decision-making and risk-management strategies that create Darwin awards.

-Lolski

Avril's Creepy Uncle

Well I haven't posted in a week and thought it was high time that I jumped on old Roflopagos and give you guys something to show your family and friends. This video is especially appropriate for grandmothers and young children. Okay...I was just lying right there. The following video is not appropriate for the aged or the tots. It's probably also not something you want to be caught watching when your boss walks by either.

This dapper gent has decided to share his feelings and thoughts through song and dance. What his thoughts are, one can only guess. I'm going to place my bets on serial killin' and peepin' Toming. Curiously enough, many of his accessories are directly out of Avril Lavigne's wardrobe circa 2002. Instead of a tie around his neck, he went and put it around his scrotum. It's quite creative if you ask me. His crotchal region is kind of like the sun. If you stare too long you will burn your retinas. Scary stuff folks.

-Lolski

She's a Maneater!

If Hall and Oats were still kicking it, this lady would be number one on their list for an avant garde, 80's style video. She will creep you out and make you feel weird about the few times you danced in front of the mirror and never got caught. The "Maneater" dance is eerily similar to Buffalo Bill's naked "tucked in" dance in The Silence of the Lambs. You know the one.

When I first saw these videos, I of course was horror-stricken...but then I thought "Hey, you know what. She's having fun". And then I quickly realized that these dress-up dancing moments are not made for public consumption. They are private moments between you and your hairbrush microphone. It takes a "special" person to actually upload these for the world to see. And by "special" I mean Coo Coo for Coco Puffs.

-Lolski

All the Single Babies

Okay, this song's still not going away...But I'm kind of thankful that it's still pretty big amongst the baby/child population. This is pretty dang funny, even if I do want to punch Beyonce in the face for forcing her crotch moves on my poor, poor eyes yet again. Why are unitards all of a sudden overpopulating the universe? You know what, you can blame damn GaGa for that one. Everywhere I go, vagina grabbin' cameltoes. I'd like to see normal girls wearing unitard onesies out on a Friday night and see how well that works out. Stares and snickers would be had no matter what your size.

Remember the one-peice women's bathing suits in the 80's and early 90's where the legs went up so high creating an illusion of a super long crotch and torso and really long legs? Those were the best. Everyone looked like an 80's rocker video babe in those. I say we bring them back. Let's bring back the high waisted mom jeans too. They weren't mom jeans in the 80's let me tell ya! Everyone has a gunt in those. Ya I said it...gunt.

- Lolski

It's time for the Lacerator

Oh how I love these. The drunken viral video. Watch drunk gal meet glass table. Whoa Nelly, that had to smart slightly! Her buddy that filmed this couldn't resist the urge to upload it. Yikes...some friend.

Ladies...this is a tried, tested and true rule for us all. Don't dance on tables. It never ends well. It's rarely sexy when you are drunk. And last, but certainly not least, if you must dance on a table...wear pants.

- Lolski

Really cute...yet slightly disturbing

Okay this little girl has got some sick ass moves and she's incredibly cute. BUT....and this is a big BUT...what's with the giving her dollar bills? Am I the only one that's slightly disturbed by this? From the comments on youtube I'd say I'm not the only one. Maybe I don't understand boardwalk dancing rituals in Coney Island...

-Lolski