Unsexy Werewolf

Want to see a crazy woman dance in a unitard? I sure do. I saw Shakira's new video for "She Wolf" the other day and yeah...interesting. I actually quietly chuckled the whole way through. Shakira's a hot chick and usually has killer moves that make boys get funny feelings in their special places. I have a feeling this video will confuse the boys. Much in the same way Lady Gaga confuses them. Is Gaga sexy, is she not? One can't know that for certain.

One thing I do know for certain is Shakira has become a mutant. Her tendons and connective tissue appear to have changed since "Hips Don't Lie". They can now stretch and move in ways only Mr. Fantastic can. She also appears to have utilized the same choreographer as Beyonce. Ladies: Spastic does not equal sexy. Stick with the tried and true booty shake.




Sony won't let me embed the video so click here if you want to see ShakiWolf. Maybe this video will help resurrect the wolf sweatshirt? One can only hope...



- Lolski

Technology is spooky

So I was in a cab going to my parents place from the airport and I got into a real neato conversation with the cab driver. She was awesome and we chatted it up for a while. We got to talking about quantum theory, which then lead to theories of consciousness. Yes, strange conversation in a cab but if you are going to talk about quantum theory, it better be in a cab. She told me about a new technology in Japan that has allowed researchers to actually project images from the brain onto a computer screen using an fMRI machine.

I told her I would Google it, and Google it I did! Holy shit show, she was right! It came out in December of last year. If you missed it here's the story. The applications of this technology are cool. You could potentially record dreams. I'm not so sure I'd want to record all of my dreams. Especially the one's where I'm in a public place and I'm all of a sudden naked or not wearing pants. I wonder what those mean? Or that one I had about Richard Gere that one time. Umm, nevermind about that one. Eww Richard Gere. Can you say Richard Gere without thinking of a hamster? I can't.

Patience is a Virtue

This dude is the Grand Viscount of patience. He's a paragon of stoic fortitude. He pretty much owns. Despite all the tomfoolery around him, he keeps going with his segment. I would, in his place, stick my arms straight out, clench my fists, and spin. Windmilling my way through the drunks. I bet his previous job was being one of the Queen's guards in England with the funny hats. He's also probably real good at Jenga and putting model ships inside of bottles.

- Lolski

Best Costume Ever

This is the best Halloween costume in the world. This has to be the work of a fan boy for a convention for sure. Those fan boys sure know how to take costumes to new heights of geekdom. I wish one of them would design me a Silk Spectre costume.

















Shit...I better do some serious crunches before I attempt a costume like that. Not only that, I'd be in for a series of costume malfunctions and camel toes so I'd need to be extra vigilant about my nether regions all night. Enjoy the awesomeness of a real live Bumblebee...he even transforms!

- Lolski

Geez...it's not the skateboard's fault

So everyone loves a good Fail video. For old people that aren't aware, a "fail" is what the cool kids say nowadays when someone does something stupid or they just utterly fail at what they were intending to do. An "epic fail" is a really bad fail. Pretty soon "epic fail" is going to trickle up to the grown-ups and it will no longer be cool at all to say. It's probably already outgrown it's shelf life at this writing. Sorry grown-ups, it's true. Just like what happened to MySpace. You guys ran all the kids off that site.

I myself am a grown-up and am slowly realizing that I'm no longer that cool anymore. I've just hit 30 and am on the cusp of losing all coolness. That's okay though, I'm looking forward to embarrassing teens in the coming decades.

So here's a fail...it's a good one. Not "epic" because I'm not allowed to say that at my age.

- Lolski