Cat Lady Crazy

Every once in a while I go coo coo crazy and spend hours on Youtube looking at cat videos. I have my favorites...ooh Nelly do I have my favorites. Last night was one of those nights. But wasn't it a Friday night you might ask? And then I would genteelly retort "Shut-up, you're dumb. I'm getting old and like me some couch time. I ain't no spring chicken. Going out once every third fortnight is enough for this old Bessie". Okay, I jest. I'm only 30 but I really can't stand bars any more. 'Cause then I have to dust off my dancin' shoes and shave my legs and we all know how much effort that takes.

Back to the kitties. Here's some of my favorites...









Speaking of kitties, my poor cat has developed something called Feline Psychogenic Alopecia, which means when translated "My cat has kitty OCD". She's over-grooming her bum, legs and stomach. It all started when my senior citizen family dog moved in with us. Now her bum and legs look like they were shaved. She's walking around with a homemade Brazilian wax everyday. If my cat was an outdoor cat, she'd be the hussy of the neighbourhood. All the tomcats would be going crazy over her and whispering amongst each other:

"Hey man, I hear the carpet doesn't match the drapes!"

"Dude I heard there IS no carpet!"

She's usually a really fluffy, puffy, long-haired kitty, but with a still fluffy torso and sparse legs and bum, she looked like she's wearing an over sized trench coat or a handsome and generous fur-lined Mu mu. Poor kitty. Now that she knows that her enemy at the gates is nothing more then a tired, old lady, doggie who is uninterested in her feline charms, it's now growing back a little.



See, I told you the guys go crazy for the generous, fur-trimmed manteau. What a trollop!

Million Dollar Dumb Dumb

What do you get when you mix lifting weights and male vanity? Million Dollar Baby Part 2: The Douche Chronicles. Except this one doesn't have Hillary Swank's puzzling androgynous french braid and slow-motion stool foreshadowing. Yikes, someone needs to get this guy some protein shakes STAT! And everyone knows that when you're pumping some sweet iron, it's standard to move right in front of a mirror and give yourself a sick flex. Did he lift with his back? I swear he lifted with his back. And no spotter to boot. That'll teach him to work outside of the buddy system.

Nickledink Antidote

Those that know me know that I absolutely want to punch Chad Kroeger in the face. I hear his deep, guttural whine and I seriously lose my shit. Like geez, the guy has had a bowl cut through the better half of this decade. If his songs were actual physical entities, they'd have been challenged to a duel a long time ago. And my weapon of choice would be a the longest didgeridoo known to man. And we'd go back to back as is customary in duels, they'd begin to start walking, and I'd turn around and cheat before it was time and didgeridoo them right in the genitals. Yes, I said it.

Fun fact...someone once took the time to draw this.




I think their worst song is that dumb reminiscing about high school one. You know the one with the fantastical line "What the hell was on Joey's head?". Oh that's right. It was called Photograph. Deep guys. Song's about looking back in the past. Oooh, let's call it photograph. Oh and let's make sure we rhyme that with laugh. Chad, you better stop cooking up those whimsical lines or you're liable to put Jay-Z out of business.

So with all this Dinkleback hatred I have, of course I would enjoy this genius mash-up. It's like a Chad Kroeger palate cleanser. Niiiice. Can't embed it here and you'll see why...so to see it click Chad's goofy face below.

Bring the Annoyance

Hey guys....guys...hey....hey...HEY! Okay you will only get this after you watch these little gems. I got introduced to the Annoying Orange this grand holiday season. There are only 4 episodes so far but they have softened my wintry, resolute, doldrums. Hee hee doldrums. I like that word. For some reason, it always reminds me of the Alice in Wonderland Disney cartoon when Alice is all sad and wants to go home but the dog with the broom for a head and a tail ruins everything. He dang swept poor Alice' path clear away! What a selfish prick! I kid, I loved the Broom-Headed Dog. He was just doing his job...Geez.


And now for the the Annoying Orange. With his creepy grin and irritating laugh, one might pray for his premature demise. I don't. I love him. Orange ya glad noone ever eats him? Ugh. God-awful. Enjoy him...love him...hate him.









In other annoying orange news....