Jolly Saint Dork

Just awful...just plain old awful. Okay, parents. Here's the deal. Talk to your kids about the dangers of worldwide embarrassment on Youtube. If you don't then you are the worst parent in the world. Okay maybe not the worst, but close to it. If you are still a bumbling old person on computers and get mixed up all the time and call Youtube "Youface" or Facebook "Facespace", kindly get your younger, hipper, tech savvy family friend or niece/nephew to explain to them what happens to nerdy kids that upload videos. They get beat downs. You have all heard of the legend of Star Wars Kid.

Here's some other notables:

Tina

Pruane2forever

Nicole337

What happened to them can be avoided. But since you all seem to insist upon leaving that big scary place called the "Internet" to all the tweens and 20-30 somethings your children are creating videos such as these:



Yes, yes I know it's much easier to leave little Jimmy or Judy occupied in their basement bedroom lair with their computer and plead ignorance then to actually hop on the Information Highway, or "World Wide Web" as it is known in scientific circles, and try and figure out what your dorky, lovable, yet socially awkward teen is up to. But dang nabbit parents...do you want them to be at the mercy of the online Internet commenter gangs that troll the Internet? Okay there are no gangs, but there could be...just ask Oprah.

Where do I find this stuff?

Okay folks...I've been a real lazy jerk of late. Letting a little thing called "life" get in the way of making rofls and taking names. To make it up to you, I've found a real doozy. It will leave you feeling dirty and agitated to the very core and fibre of your being. It's like watching a perpetual Madonna Yoga pose. Okay, no worse. Hey fellas, want some anti-boner material? It's just what you need to get rid of that pesky, embarrassing erection at the most inopportune time. And ladies...here's what you can aspire to be in your silver fox years.

Shock value at it's very best from Captain Internet. The good Captain never disappoints. Who is Captain Internet you ask? He's just the name I would give to the Internet if he were a person. He'd be really hyper and of course totally creepy. And he'd be constantly shoving erection pills and penis pumps in your face. I bet he would have one of those long curly mustaches too. He would also of course wear heavy, denim dungarees with red suspenders and a stained wife beater. Not sure why, just take my word for it. He just keeps getting stronger and stronger everyday. Will our need for the grotesque ever be satisfied? Probably not.